Love

Once upon a time, I saw the world in a much different life.

As a child, the world was about what I could find. Each moment was about discovery. What was around the corner? What did this do? Why was the sky blue? In my innocence, I saw the world as a never-ending parade of questions and life was a search for answers.

But like all things, that innocence and childish wonder passed. A parade of questions became a parade of one question repeated in endless variations. "What can I get out of this situation?" "How can I manipulate this to benefit me?" "How can I get something from this person?" Life became about me. I became a manipulative narcissist - albeit one who was good at appearing altruistic. I looked at every situation as me versus the world. I had learned that the world was out to get me. I had been taught by life, society, and pain that I must fight against everyone and everything around me to get what I wanted from life. The sun seemed harshly bright; the wind bitterly cold. I no longer wondered why the sky was blue. I knew it was blue to keep me from seeing the stars. I should have realized that that too would pass, but in my cynicism, I did not realize that even I could be wrong.

Life changed as I felt love. Suddenly the questions were subtly different. No longer was I asking "How can I get something from this person." Now the word 'get' was anathema to me; it vanished from my vocabulary. Now I was asking what I could give to people. I was wondering how I could make myself better, and how I could make myself worthy of you. I was humbled by who and what you are, and it made me appreciate the hollow nature of my life. Now I truly know what love means. All love - be it Epithumia, Eros, Storge, Phile, or Agape - eschews taking. When love is involved, there is only giving, with no thought to recompense. Only when I realized this, did I truly start to live.

So thank you for teaching me of love. Though you may never read this, you may never understand how much you have taught me, I want it known that I love you for who and what you are, and as long as I have breath in my lungs I will show my gratitude by loving this world and all that live upon it. You have made me into the me that I was meant to be, and I can only repay you by spreading the true meaning of love and hoping that, like a spark falling upon dry tinder, it catches and spreads across this world like a raging fire. . . For as the song says, "What this world needs now is love, sweet love."